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The routine of my mornings is the thing I struggle with the most.
Before, I’d be catching a ride to the airport at 4am. I’d be driving 40 minutes to the office. I’d be going to the gym. I’d be anywhere but here.
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Now I’m trapped in this space every morning and cant get out. Maybe thats metaphorical for being trapped inside my own head. I can’t figure it out.
Ive tried stretching, I’ve tried sitting in the sun when it decides to peak through my windows. I’ve tried just going straight from bed to my computer to start working.
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None of it is making me happy.
Except today. I got up early and forced myself to not turn on the tv, limit my exposure to my phone and just write - on a piece of paper.
I wrote what I’m thankful for. I wrote about a man outside my window who was shivering in the cold with his hands bundled up inside the sleeves of his hoodie. I wrote about the thought of me going to my closet, running out there and giving him my coat. I wrote about him being gone forever as soon as I turned back around.
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Maybe I need to write. And here I am.